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Previous Lunar Embassy Competition Winners

Below you can find a list of all the questions that the Lunar Embassy ever asked in all their guestbook competitions plus a list of the past winners.By the way, please do not hold a cup of coffee when you read this…some of it is very funny and you are bound to spill it.

Disclaimer: The comments below reflect personal opinions only; any similarities between real companies or individuals is not intended, and is probably, purely coincidental.

SCI-FI Channel Competition

To see the winners of the Apollo 13 competition that was held on the Sci-Fi Channel, please click here.

Competition 2004

Competition Phrase: “When the next few rovers land on mars they should…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Look for some of the other “probes” that crashed and try to figure out why.

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Leave tire tracks in such a way that the words FOR SALE can be read via at least the Hubble telescope, if not smaller scopes.

1st place and winner: Tamara Agathocleous from Cyprus writes

…place the Lunar Embassy flag on the surface since it is presently the only organization that unites all humans regardless of the color, race or religion.

Competition 2003

Competition Phrase: “After the latest events in the space program we should…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: To take one giant step backward for man, and one big leap of faith forward for mankind. Let’s move on….

1st place and winner: Liana Rubinstein from the United States writes

Continue!! Failure is not an option!

July 2002

Competition Phrase: “When you see a shooting star in August, you will wish for?”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Ich könnte nochmal einen Tag mit meinem Vater verbringen.

(So I can spend one more day with my father.)

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: … it not to land on my head!!!

1st place and winner: Ryan Livingston from the United Kingdom writes

Wish for it not to be the one that is going to collide with earth in 2019…. oooh, ooh and some jelly babies!

June 2002

Competition Phrase: “If you could send some things to the Moon for free, what 1 gram item, 2 gram item, and 3 gram item would you send?”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: I dont know maybe a parking meter for some occasionaly passing space ships

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Hold on why I try one of these Miracle Diets… Just a hundred and something pounds to lose until liftoff..

1st place and winner: Diane Skutnick from the United States writes

1 gram-ma to do all the cooking; 2 gram-pas to build me a house; and 3 grams of some illegal substance that hopefully will be legal on the moon!

May 2002

Competition Phrase: “As you may know Nasa is working on replacing the shuttle by 2012. I think the current Space Shuttle is…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: ..exactly what it looks like: a butterfly sitting on a flying bomb.

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: ..certain of a home in my heart, because I had an experiment fly in her (responses of wheat plants to variable gravity conditions).

1st place and winner: Deke Lover from the United States writes

going to look great in my lunar garage after I jack it up in the back and add racing stripes, foglamps and a spoiler…moonroof optional

April 2002

Competition Phrase: “As you may know the chinese are aiming to build a space station. When they do, the first thing they will do onboard is…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Confirm to all chinese people that the capatalist americans were telling the truth really can see the wall!!!

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Discover why non-sticky rice in zero-G is a very, very bad idea!

1st place and winner: Rae Lynn Tipping from the United States writes

Take off their shoes … um… I mean, space boots.

March 2002

Competition Phrase: “If I could point the Hubble Space telescope somewhere, I would point it at…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Our dear planet! If Hubble can really look in the past, I’d love to know what went wrong with humans and caused this hell-on-earth we live in… Just be human, please, don’t play God!

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Politicians check books.

1st place and winner: Deborah Ralph from Australia writes

The 2nd star on the right and straight on till morning.

Febuary 2002

Competition Phrase: “If you would look out of a window on the new Space Station and you saw a piece of space-junk hurtling towards you, you would say…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Engage

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: I’ve come all this way, and I still can’t get away from that annoying junk-mail!!

1st place and winner: Kenneth J Skutnick from the United States writes

Capt…….requesting Emergency Beam Out…..NOW!!!!!!!

January 2002

Competition Phrase: “If you were to go on the manned mission to Mars as part of the crew, you would like to go as..”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Darth Mars

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: A microbe. And when we land I would shout: hello grandpa, I’m back!

1st place and winner: Anna from Sweden writes

fast as possible, because it is a long journey!

December 2001

Competition Phrase: “If I could decide what payload the next shuttle takes into orbit it would be…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: My furniture. I’m moving onto my property soon, after all!

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: My friends stinky shoes.

1st place and winner: Carla Willoughby from Canada writes

Osama bin Laden….Open the payload door Hal.

November 2001

Competition Phrase: “If I had a piece of Moonrock I would…”

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Spread it on some toast to see if it really is cheese.

Runner up Lunar Embassy favorite: Put it back.

1st place and winner: Stephen Little from the UK writes

Give it pride of place in my ‘now complete’ Collection – between Hard Rock & Punk Rock.

October 2001

Competition Phrase: “The Los Angeles County assessor’s attempt to tax at least eight satellites in orbit above the earth has recently been rejected,

because they agreed that they do not have jurisdiction in Space (see here for more).

If the taxman would visit your home on the Moon, you would say…”

3rd place runner up: No taxation without gravitation!

2nd place runner up: Consider yourself prosecuted for trespassing!!! – Shall we settle out of court?

1st place and winner: Andee Freytag from the United States writes

Allow me to bend over and show you my “Other” Moon property!

September 2001

Competition Phrase: “I think Space Tourism is a good idea because…”

3rd place runner up: Think of the frequent flyer miles.

2nd place runner up: It would give us all a chance “To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before”.

1st place and winner: Ken Skutnick from the United States writes

We will be able to make “First Contact” with other beings that are just as interested in us as we are them.

August 2001

Competition Phrase: “If an Alien lands on Earth and asks you what is so ÓgreatÓ about humanity, you would say…”

3rd place runner up: dass ich das als Marsmikrobe auch noch nicht herausgefunden habe.

(the fact that as a Mars microbe I havent found that out myself yet)

2nd place runner up: The Pyramids! – I bet your race doesn’t have paperweights that size???

1st place and winner: Raul from Mexico writes

Humanity? You’ve got the wrong planet pal.

July 2001

Competition Phrase: “The feature that attracts me most to buying extraterrestrial real estate is…”

3rd place runner up: in a couple of years I can borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbour

2nd place runner up: it will be a really great place to just “get away from it all”. Better than a bubble bath.

1st place and winner: Robert Pawlik from Austria writes

My wife can cry and I don’t haveto hear her without an atmosphere.

(note from the Lunar Embassy; why not give her a property on the moon and she may stop crying on earth? 🙂

June 2001

Competition Phrase: “The first product I would sell to lunar tourists is…”

3rd place runner up: A giant Coke and a Big Mac…

2nd place runner up: A HARD ROCK MOON T-SHIRT………..!

1st place and winner: Dewey Stuart from the United States writes


May 2001

Competition Phrase: “If I was the first space tourist; the first thing I would do in space would be…”

3rd place runner up: Give the driver of my shuttle a VERY BIG TIP to ensure a pleasant ride home.

2nd place runner up: Roll down the window and ask someone for some bloody directions.

1st place and winner: Ake Liljan Liljekvist from Sweden writes

To take a picture of me on a scale to prove to everyone that my weightwatchers program finally paid off!

April 2001

Competition Phrase: “As you may know, recently, large solar flares eminated from the sun, which can cause all kinds of disruptions on Earth. If you were an astronaut on the Moon at such a time; and a giant solar flare was on its way to you; your last words would be…”

3rd place runner up: Beam me up Scotty. Now Scotty!

2nd place runner up: Whaazzzzuuuupppp??????

1st place and winner: Gerald R Skutnick from the United States writes

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 2001

Competition Phrase: “I think the new spacestation is…”

3rd place runner up: One more step towards the direction of Star Trek, that people used to laugh at. Look as us NOW!!!!

2nd place runner up: …a nice place to take a break from launch stress, while on my way to my property.

1st place and winner: Christopher L. Freeze from the United States writes

Our last, best hope for peace. (Bablyon 5, anyone?!)

Febuary 2001

Competition Phrase: “On March the 6th, 2001 or around about there, the russian space station Mir will reenter the atmosphere. Where or on what do you think it will crash; and why?”

3rd place runner up: I think it will crash into Wall Street. That place crashes so often, it would be the best prepared sight.

2nd place runner up: It is going to land on the tip of the Eiffeltower in Paris. It will bend it so badly that it will look like a banana and will be given a new name. The Banana Tower! By the way; I think they should paint it yellow after the crash!

1st place and winner: Michael Paoletti from the United States writes

The Russians couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, they will sprinkle plutonium all over China.

January 2001

Competition Phrase: “What name would you have given to the lunar landing module “Eagle”, and why?”

3rd place runner up: Dusty. Well, as it landed, it became very dusty – didn’t it?

2nd place runner up: I would have given it that exact name, it has its USA qualities, the eagle, but yet it shows a certain authority about it. Besides, “Houston, the cookoo has landed” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

1st place and winner: Kenneth J Skutnick from the United States

“Einstein” Because it gave us so much more information.

December 2000

Competition Phrase: “What TV Show would you be watching on the Moon and why?”

4th place runner up: The moon X-Files! I know you don’t believe me Scully, but I’m telling you there are beings on Earth and they have visited the moon!

3rd place runner up: Playboy channel, because I always watch Playboy channel so why stop when I’m on the moon?

2nd place runner up: As The World Turns, Space Jam. Then I can finally see the top of Michael Jordan’s head.

1st place and winner: James Sarah from the United States

Star Trek…all the series and movies. Why?…C’mon it’s Star Trek of course!!!

November 2000

Competition Phrase: “The first words of the first person stepping onto Mars should be:”

4th place runner up: First a word from my sponsors……………….

3rd place runner up: Wooow! We finally made it to this dusty old planet!!! Wait a minute… Venus isn’t red… is it?

2nd place runner up: Finally!!! These shoes are killing me!

1st place and winner: Andy van Wesel from the Netherlands

Next year it will be Europe again, I’m freezing my b***s off!

October 2000

Competition Phrase: “If life really existed on Mars, what would you like to ask a Martian?”

3rd place runner up: Do you have change?

2nd place runner up: Hello and goodmorning, now, Mr. Martian, how on earth, or, mars for that matter, were you able to cover up your presence, and what is that pathfinder doing in your museum?

1st place and winner: Tim Summa from United States

Can I fill up my tank before I leave, gas prices back home are outrageous!

September 2000

Competition Phrase: “If the russians had gotten to the Moon first, what do you think they would have said upon touching down?”

3rd place runner up: Its one small step for Russia, But it would of been a giant one for America

2nd place runner up: I don’t see God here, either.

1st place and winner: Paul Phillips from England

The door won’t open Boris !

July 2000

Competition Phrase: “If you met and alien, what gift would you present to him/her and why?”

4th place runner up: Ein Schutzschild gegen die menschliche Dummheit.

(A shield against human dumbness)

3rd place runner up: My house, because I may have inadvertantly just bought his.

2nd place runner up: Unser Vertrauen. (Our trust)

1st place and winner: Gabriele Schwanke from Germany

Freiheit. (Freedom)

June 2000

Competition Phrase: “If I was the ruler of the Moon my first law would be…”

4th place runner up: All laws of this Moon shall be like that, that they serve the common people best, so that when a law does not serve the people, it is not law, but in-law, and shall be removed.

3rd place runner up: My way or the airlock.

2nd place runner up: A rule against the import of Crackers (To preserve the endangered mooncheese)

1st place and winner: Tan Nguyen, United States

Taking care of it.

August 2000

Competition Phrase: “If you had left a plaque on the Moon what would you have written on it?”

5th place runner up: My name is “The Moon”. If found, please return to orbit around the Earth.

4th place runner up: KILLROY WAS HERE

3rd place runner up: Kilroy was not here.

2nd place runner up: Be back in a minute!

1st place and winners (2 this month): John David Brown from the United States

Don’t forget to pick up your trash on the way out.

Philip Marais from South Africa

Everything you have, is all that you have.

May 2000

Competition Phrase: “When I look at the Moon I think of…”

3rd place runner up: What it would be like to see mars from there!

2nd place runner up: What do the people on the Moon stare at?

1st place and winner: Wolfgang Hundertmark, Germany

Den laengsten Drive (Golf) der je im Sonnensystem geschlagen wurde. Schliesslich ist Golf der einzige Sport, der nicht nur auf der Erde betrieben wird.

(The longest drive that was ever shot in our solar system. After all, golf is the only sport that is not only practiced on Earth.)

April 2000

Competition Phrase: “If you could transmit one sentence to an alien world; what would it be?”

3rd place runner up: Have YOU found the exit yet?


1st place and winner: Bobby Dulles-Coelho, United States

Ok, let’s go to our next caller, hello, you’re on the air.

March 2000

Competition Phrase: “As you may know, the Pioneer 10 and Voyager 1 and 2 Spacecraft are still functioning, leaving our solar system since now over 20 years. If you were an Alien and found one of these craft; what would be your reaction?”

3rd place runner up: Oh my god! They killed kenny!

2nd place runner up: What a nice answering machine!

1st place and winner: Rainer Knauf, Germany

Hoffentlich gibt’s da noch Pfand drauf !? (Hey we can get a return deposit from the shop on that)

February 2000

Competition Phrase: “If the Moon is made of cheese, what is Mars made of and why?”

3rd place runner up: from Marsmellows?

2nd place runner up: Macaroni, so that when it collides with the Moon, everyone on earth will be able to eat!

1st place and winner: C Winterhalter, Switzerland

Mars is made of small mice living there and waiting to be able to buy properties on Moon and to go there to eat all that cheese.

January 2000

Competition Phrase: “As you may know, the Hubble Space Telescope theoretically has the ability to look further than the boundary of the big bang (With a 3 month exposure or so). What do you think we will see behind that boundary when it does?”

3rd place runner up: The gates of heaven with a sign on it that say “if you can read this your too close”

2nd place runner up: An Intel Inside sticker. (Hubble was recently upgraded from 386 processor to 3 486’s)

1st place and winner: Alex, USA

The fuse!

December 1999

Competition Phrase: “As you may know, the Mars Polar Lander is listening with a microphone to what Mars really sounds like. What sound would you like to hear first?”

3rd place runner up: Hier koennen Sie nicht parken!

(You may not park here!)

2nd place runner up: <muffled snorts of suppressed laughter> whisper: “Ok ok everyone, are.. Shhhh! <giggles> SSHHHHH! <some snuffled giggling> Ok! Ready? Ok – make wind noises” “Wheeesssssshhhh.wheeee-oooooo-ooosshhhhhh <GIGGLE-LAUGH-SNORT!!> “Shhhhhh!” “SHHH!” “sorry” “whoooeeeesssssshhh” <snicker>

1st place and winner: David Love, USA

A NASA discussion of the merits of conversions between the Metric and English measurement systems (ow! low blow!)

November 1999

Competition Phrase: “What single argument do you think NASA can use to convince congress and us that we should spend the billions of dollars for a manned mission to Mars?”

3rd place runner up: One less man on earth: One small step for man, one great leap for womankind.

2nd place runner up: “Oh! Come on! Compared to what we have spent so far, this is practically free…”

1st place and winner: Ben Rudolph, USA

To see the original birthplace of the Mars Bar of course!!

October 1999

Competition Phrase: “The first type of building we should build on the Moon is…”

3rd place runner up: My house.

2nd place runner up: The Lunar Embassy Visitor Complex, with a BIG office for the Head Cheese

(Note from the Lunar Embassy; the Head Cheese approves)

1st place and winner: Michelle Hewitt, Canada

A washroom. I know I’ll really have to go by the time I get there – I refuse to use the “suction-thingy” on the shuttle!!

September 1999

Competition Phrase: “As you may know, parts of the Mir Space Station will be auctioned off. The part you would most like to own is…”

3rd place runner up: The casio calculator which was used to control the entire station.

2nd place runner up: The safe of course

1st place and winner: Michael Gebser, Germany

Das Logbuch (The Logbook)

August 1999

Competition Phrase: “If we manage to land an Internet capable computer on the Lunar Surface, the features you would like it to have are…”

3rd place runner up: Call it MOL as in Moon OnLine or LOL as in Lunar OnLine

2nd place runner up: a Linux operating system and a cdr – I am sure that when an extraterrestial stumbles over the computer, they would love to have a free copy of this free operating system. This will undoubtedly be our best proof to that at least some intelligence can be found on the Earth.

1st place and winner: Mary Garrison, USA

1. A recharchable battery.

2. Lots and lots of memory

3. Video

4. One of those suction cup Garfield dolls on the bubble dome

5. Last but not least enough mobility to roll over to my property, hook up some security cameras and if someone trespasses it can kick their sorry butts!

July 1999

Competition Phrase: “In July 1969, at the exact time of the Moon Landing I was…”

3rd place runner up: 4 years old, outside playing Buck Rogers saving the universe from Evil Mutant Space Pirates – Before it got dark!

2nd place runner up: July 20th, 1969….a mere 4 years old, my parents and I watched the landing at Tranquility Base and saw them plant the flag and the plaque which declared that “We Came In Peace For All Mankind”. My mother turned to my father with tears in her eyes and wished that we had peace on earth. Historically correct or not, the image of the moon landing is linked unbreakably with the image of the Vietnamese monk immolating himself in the name of peace. Space has always seemed like our best chance to redeem ourselves.

1st place and winner: Steve Resham, Germany

Genau 5 Jahre, 49 Tage und 6 Stunden alt. Leider durfte ich nicht aufstehen,um live dabei zu sein. Deshalb habe ich mir ein Grundstueck auf dem Mond gekauft um dieses Defizit. auszugleichen.

(I was exactly 5 years 48 days and 6 hours old and I was forbidden to get up to watch it live. So I bought a property to make up for it.)

June 1999

Competition Phrase: “If you had to set up an attraction in an amusement park on the Moon, what would the ride be?”

3rd place runner up: It would be a 3d ride. “Take a trip to the Earth”

2nd place runner up: lunar rover racing.

1st place and winner: Norbert Holz, Germany

Ein Restaurant am Ende des Universums. (A restaurant at the end of the Universe.)

May 1999

Competition Phrase: “What should the official human Lunar Greeting/handshake be and why? (please include description)?”

3rd place runner up: The vulcan handshake. Because it’s logical.

2nd place runner up: Identical to the one used in 3rd rock from the sun!

1st place and winner: Russell Guelfi, USA

A high five because we finally made it

April 1999

Competition Phrase: “If there is or was life in our Solar System apart from on Earth, on which planet/moon do you think we will find it and why?”

3rd place runner up: Jupiter of course its so big and has so many different types of atmopheric conditions the possibility of underground caves deep within supplying water and heat along with the proper elements to create a liveable atmosphere, sort of like the “Hollow Earth Theory” makes it a trully viable candidate for life “Out There”!

2nd place runner up: Europa- because of the presence of water below the ice that covers the moon. Also Arthur C. Clarke says its there in his book 2010.

1st place and winner: Mathias Will, Germany

Pluto; Why: Well…Pluto is the Mickey Mouse planet…and even a mouse is a life form!

March 1999

Competition Phrase: “If the Russians do leave Mir, what would you do with it?”

3rd place runner up: Use it to hold the best millenium party on and above the Earth!

2nd place runner up: Auction it at Sotherby’s for more than it is worth.

1st place and winner: K. Schoepe, Germany

Use it for alternative housing during the Y2K crisis.

Febuary 1999

Competition Phrase: “If you were an alien, which country on Earth would you first prefer to have diplomatic ties with and why?”

3rd place runner up: The USA, because of the Statue of Liberty and what she represents. The USA is a country FOUNDED by aliens! What better place to start!

2nd place runner up: Vielleicht mit Aegypten, weil die Menschen dort anscheinend schon Erfahrungen mit Ausserirdischen hatten (Maybe Egypt…they have experience with Aliens there)

1st place and winner: Florian Kocher, Switzerland

Mit den USA. Die US-Politiker, oder wer sonst dahintersteckt, haben bereits bewiesen wie schweigsam und zurueckhaltend (im warsten Sinne des Wortes) sie sein koennen (Roswell).

With the USA because the politicians there have already proven that they can keep their mouths firmly shut (see Roswell).

January 1999

Competition Phrase: “If you could rename planet Earth, what would you call it and why?”

3rd place runner up: Pluto, in fact I would name all the planets “Pluto”, in order to mislead the Klingons

2nd place runner up: The earth should be called “funny farm”. And you wanna know WHY???

1st place and winner: Detlev Doerries, Germany

I would call her OCEANS OF HOPE, because clear oceans and hope is what we need

December 1998

Competition Phrase: “What language should be spoken on the Moon and why?”

3rd place runner up: I think that everybody should speak their mother tongue since all of us already have a Babel fish stuck in our ear it really doesn’t matter.(Note from the Embassy: if you don’t know what a Babel Fish is, read the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams.)

2nd place runner up: I think that the language should be body language! Body Language is UNIVERSAL!!! I can’t wait for the chance to be on the moon. Sheesh… Floating around would do wonders for my figure (the older I get *Giggle*). Can you imagine the way we could use our bodys….Wooooo hoooo Wonderbra would be out of business!!

1st place and winner: John Kolis, USA

Sign language, beacause there is no atmosphere.

November 1998

Competition Phrase: “What sport would you play on the Moon and why?”

3rd place runner up: Definitely GOLF! Where else get you so many holes to practise putting? And the low gravity allows you to get with only one shot on the green (or grey)?

2nd place runner up: Definitely assorted bedroom sports. They would be so much more fun on the moon wouldn’t you agree? You’d last longer, it would take less energy and no one would be shouting OUCH, well, not as much anyway!!!

1st place and winner: N.H. van Wijk, Netherlands

The natural sports to play on the Moon would be Lunar Golf. The holes are already there, the flags are in place, and those moonbuggies have always looked like reincarnated golfcarts anyway. Now let’s see how well Tiger keeps up when gravity is no longer on his side!

October 1998

Competition Phrase: “What celebrity do you think is an alien under cover, living on Earth and why?”

3rd place runner up: Kenneth Starr-well, just look at him…

2nd place runner up: Lots of them! Dustin Hoffman, Jean Michelle Jarre, David Bowie, my ex-wife… many, many of them.

1st place and winner: Christine Stein, Germany

Bill G.- warum?? – Schon mal Windows 98 ausprobiert???

Bill G.- why? Have you ever tried Windows 98???

September 1998

Competition Phrase: “The first words an extraterrestrial would say when it sees Earth are…”

3rd place runner up: And they call *this* mostly harmless?

2nd place runner up: These guys went to the Moon?

1st place and winner: Daniel Fahleson, Sri Lanka

Lets see… where is my property?

August 1998

Competition Phrase: “What would you make the Moons National dish and why?”

3rd place runner up: Jello, or some similar product. Imagine eating that stuff in Zero G.

2nd place runner up: The national dish on the Moon should be an easy over fried egg and an English muffin with blue milk. The reason is because the egg looks like the sun, the English Muffin looks like the craters of the Moon, and the blue milk to represent the wonderful blue color of the view of Earth.

1st place and winner: Kirin Coates, USA

4 cheese Lunar Lazagna – because everyone likes lazagna (except maybe my little brother!)

July 1998

Competition Phrase: “You tell the difference between a Martian and a Politician by:”

3rd place runner up: You can’t – neither one is human; they both have problems communicating, and the news media are all over them.

2nd place runner up: the fact that the Martian will tell you that he’s attempting to take over the planet…

1st place and winner: Guenter Gstraimer, Austria

Der Marsmensch lebt auf dem Mars, der Politiker hinter dem Mond !

(The Martian lives on Mars, the politician behind the Moon!)

June 1998

Competition Phrase: “The welcoming sign at the Lunar Airport should read:”

3rd place runner up: Welcome, you Made it! The ultimate weight loss program.

2nd place runner up: This is a new world. Please leave it the way you found it.

1st place and winner: Sascha Schneider, Germany

Nehmen Sie den Helm ab und Ihnen wird vor staunen der Atem wegbleiben!

(Please remove your helmet, and the view will take your breath away!)

May 1998

Competition Phrase: “The question I would ask in the next Lunar Embassy Guestbook competition is:

3rd place runner up: What would you say if the rock on Mars really was Elvis?

2nd place runner up: What should the official Lunar cheese be?

1st place and winner: James Edmondson, UK

The welcoming sign at the lunar airport should read…..

April 1998

Competition Phrase: “Humans need to go to Mars because”

3rd place runner up: Venus will be attacked by the Vogons next month.

2nd place runner up: Bill Gates does not have any control there.

1st place and winner: Rob Fritz, USA

We need to see if the face in the rock really IS Elvis.

March 1998

Competition Phrase: “If I had to describe life on Earth in three words to a visitor they would be:”

3rd place runner up: BEAM ME UP!

2nd place runner up: Save Our Souls

1st place and winner: Linda Kelso, USA

Excuse the mess!

Febuary 1998

Competition Phrase: “If I had to fix the Mir Spacestation I would:”

3rd place runner up: Beam up Chief Engineer Geordi LaForge and tell him to “M(ake) I(t) R(un)!!!!!”

2nd place runner up: de-install Win95 and add Vodka to the fuel cells.

1st place and winner: Julie Burnham, USA

I would fix the Mir SpaceStation by putting signs on the station that say “Objects in Mir are closer than they appear” to warn on-coming objects.

January 1998

Competition Phrase: “If I would be living on the Moon, I would not be without:”

3rd place runner up: My moonboots (of course)

and then a bottle of moonshine to brighten up the place.

2nd place runner up: A spouse (have to reproduce)

and my computer (even more important)

1st place and winner: Barry Alan Hall, USA

My mother-in-law, because in some way shape or form she would find a way to move in with me.

December 1997

Competition Phrase: “If *I* was the first person to walk on the Moon, *MY* first words would have been:”

3rd place runner up: “My God! It’s full of stardust!” (with apologies to Mr. Clarke)

2nd place runner up: “One small step for man….one GIANT Nike contract for me!!”

1st place and winner: Branwen Sine Begley, Australia

“One giant step for women, to hell with MANkind”

November 1997

Competition Phrase: “If I was the first person to meet an Alien on Earth, my first words to him would be:”

3rd place runner up: Take me to my leader–you’re the only way I can get his attention!

2nd place runner up: Pardon me, would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?

1st place and winner: Julia Johnson, Sweden

I am 5 years old and I want a gift from Santa Clause. If I was the first

person to meet an Alien on Earth, my first words to him would be:

Shall we play?

October 1997

Competition Phrase: “If I lived on Mars I would – “

3rd place runner up: I would worry about little blue men from earth invading my planet.

2nd place runner up: I would steal the wheels on Sojourner.

1st place and winner: Mr. Paul Smith, UK

If I lived on Mars I would open a chocolate shop selling EARTH bars!